The Whole World

“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36)

He saw her at coffee hour. “How’s it going, J?” “My mom died.” “I’m so sorry…What can we do to help you?” “I will need help moving out of her apartment and packing her things.” “I’ll be there.”
Fast forward a few weeks and, during what was still a hot Charlotte summer, he helped her move. Uneventful in and of itself, except…

“Hi…I’m a flight attendant.”

“Hi. I’m J’s friend from work. I’m a flight attendant.”

“I worked for an airline once.”

“Really? They are always looking for Greek bilingual flight attendants.”

Lub. Dub.

“I could see the world. But I’m an addict.” His mind oscillated back and forth, but he allowed excitement to prevail.

When he told his wife, she was skeptical. She should be. He was an addict.

“I could see the world. WE could see the world.”

“But you’re an addict.”

“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” This is what he thought. This is how he tempered the enthusiasm. Though world travel would make for good stories, it was not worth losing his soul. A good story would also be made of the sacrifice he, like Abraham with Isaac, was prepared to make. “Give away love of travel for higher purpose; for my beloved.”

And then, her sister intervened.





Returning Home

They touched down in Charleston after an underwhelming approach path.  The concourse was nice (this was their first time at the Charleston airport, having flown out of Greenville).  They got their bags and headed to to the curb to be picked up.  His mom and sister were waiting and waving enthusiastically (mom had enough enthusiasm for everyone, and that was the way it had to be).  On the side, there was an exhibit dedicated to the Mother Emmanuel 12.  He looked a minute and tried to feel something.  He had taught as a substitute at that kid’s school, though, after he had departed.  It was beautiful and he felt something.  His mom cried.
He had gotten a call in Denver.  On his honeymoon.  In the bathtub.
John: Hey, man.  Have you talked to my dad about that job?

Him: …I don’t know…I don’t think it’s for me.  I can’t really replicate what Fr. S was doing there…

John: Give him a call, man.  It would be great to have you here.  We’d see each other.  They’ve got this thrift store to help charities and then the kinda want someone around the church to lock up and whatnot…what it called?  Candilo

Him: Candilonavtis

John: Candilonavtis…

Him: Yeah…

John: Yeah, just think of yourself as a little church mouse…

Him: Alright, I’ll talk to him.


He knew there was a war coming.


Most days it was all he could think about.


The prophets said so—new and old.


He figured that even in the midst of a coming war, he didn’t have much to lose…especially if…

Denver

(Flash back)

It was January.  They were just married.  They were laying in their hotel room in Denver.  A school classroom was visible through their window, indeed only a few feet away, yet unoccupied for the season.  There was this vape pen.  They had been to the weed shop, admittedly weird for him, since, while he was enthusiastic, the sales people were waaay too enthusiastic for stoners.  Nonetheless…They had come to Denver largely for this reason.  He had never tried weed, save for CBD and one puff of a THC pen, which he didn’t really feel and wasn’t trying to.  He had Bipolar and had read and heard CBD helped.  Indeed, it did when he tried it.  Then there was the matter of additional cannabinoids and different combinations thereof to be found in different strains, especially when smoked naturally, he supposed.  Worth a shot.  Anything to improve his stomach problem; expand his artistic horizons. etc., etc.  Marijuana was a grey area for him burst wide open by the clinical evidence in favor of CBD.  So here he was, one flight, a Leafly rabbit hole and a store visit later.  “Go in the bathroom and run the shower and the fan.  We’re not supposed to smoke in this room.”  He was annoyed at rules, but she was right.  He argued.  Probably then, definitely later—the memory is fuzzy.
Puff.  He waited.  “It will take a minute,” she said.  He was a bit scared, having read that THC can cause psychosis in bipolars, but remembering that he was on an antipsychotic and having searched for “calming strains”, settling on Blue Dream, he puffed, first cautiously, then enthusiastically.  Quotations about enjoying wine from Psalms and Church Fathers played in his mind as comfort and justification.  Aaaahhh.  A little something….A little something more.  He laughed, he joked, he touched her while she puffed.  He got hungry.


Thai Food.


Thai Food.
Thai Food.  They needed Thai Food.  They ordered from an app.  It seemed to take forever.  But there was weed.  And sex.
The Thai food was good.  So good.  After weed.  And sex.  And weed.  It was good.  So good.  They kept eating.  And puffing.  And having sex.  Day one.


Daybreak.  

One thing:  He was a video game addict.  He had been sober for maybe three or four days, not counting a little check-in last night, but it became clear that there would be some downtime during this honeymoon—even downtown for two newlywed kids with two new kinds of weed.  He checked into his game, Rise of Kingdoms.  Nothing much new happening, the same old frenzy.  Clan war here, clan war there, blah, blah.  

She was up.


Exploration day.

 He had a surprise.  She was an artiste.  There seemed not to be a genre she had not touched, though he was yet to experience much of her art with her.  A Dior exhibit was in town.  By “Dior exhibit, it is meant that a couple hundred dresses, drawings and other effects, mostly of the man himself, and some in the wake of his death down to the present day occupied an entire floor of the Denver Museum of Art.  And he had kept…it…a…secret.  Secrets weren’t his strong suit.  Nor were surprises.  He didn’t like secrets in and of themselves because they made him feel guilty.  And he had had his own secrets.  For a while.  Surprises were hard to execute.  He was underemployed.
So this secret was sweet.  For her in a way tangible, for him in a way hard to access for his unfeeling heart.  Nonetheless, it pleased him to please her.  He walked her down the street, hand over her eyes, until they were right in front of the museum.

Elsewhere

Elsewhere, after all, could be her new ‘here’; ‘some day’ her new ‘now’.  He liked to say, “If every place is any place, there’s no place left worth going.”  This was not any place.  It was to the people that lived here; to the ones that had never been away.  She was not on a mission to convince them, however.  If anything, she hoped to learn from them; to not disturb their peace.
It’s funny when you happen upon someone being excellent.
It’s funny when you happen upon someone being excellent.  You don’t want to distract them from what they do.  But they are excellent; and part of excellence is ease.
So, when you come upon someone who is excellent at relaxing, let them have their effect on you.  It can be easy to want to ask them their methods.  This is permissible.  But it is usually enough in the short term to just let it rub off.
Old people.  Everywhere.  Greece was like the rest of Europe; only in the sense that the people here were getting old.  To be sure, plenty were already old, and not going anywhere, but they were getting old and older.
Now, we like to talk about “digital natives” and to use other terms that are at times self-important and at times self-pitying.  Greece didn’t have digital natives.  Not in this village anyway.  What it did have were old ladies on their porches, watering flowers or sitting, who were happy to talk to you when they were not talking to each other, or even when they were.
Tou Ilia eisai?
“Tou Ilia eisai (Are you Ilias’s boy)?”  “Eimai (I am).”  What hospitality would have abounded now easily multiplied.  He was beckoned onto the porch, along with her, and she was to get her first taste of Greek hospitality…
Later that night, they lay in bed.  They were exhausted.  They were thinking.
She remembered the bus rides.  What did it mean to get angry without holding a grudge?  There seemed to be two options for regular folks: (regular folks because, increasingly, virtue escaped the common man) either get angry and hold the grudge or immediately voice your frustration, thereby getting it out of your system.  A third, more excellent way existed to be sure, and this was to hold one’s tongue in a dispassionate way.  Greeks seemed to vie for option two.  And while the third choice was firmly cemented in both their minds as the ideal, the second choice for her finally took on new meaning…”Before offering your sacrifice, if you have a quarrel with your brother, leave your sacrifice and go and make peace with him.”  This, it could said, was instantaneous in the Greek world.  Instantaneous more so for Greeks in Greece who have kept their culture alive, surrounded and reinforced by what we would call “gumption” or “assertiveness” and what they would call basic honesty, but also for those around the world who, to greater or lesser degrees remembered where they came from and understand “boundaries” in a very different way than most Westerners.  Instantaneous also because the quarrel was had and had fully.  Therefore, forgiveness could be reached sooner and more completely.  It is the mark of a holy person to forgive even when wronged, it is the mark of a normal person to at least forgive after feeling heard.  She did not know what these various people were arguing about—in the streets, in lines at the bank or for buses or trains, but she knew generally.  Someone felt wronged.  Both felt justified.  Neither felt limited or restrained.  It was the last part that made all the difference.  People certainly weren’t policed by their neighbors nor were they policed by an overbearing sense of “propriety” and having not these barriers, they dealt with business.  Not that Greece was friendly for business in the common sense—there were problems—of corruption and other “inefficiencies” plaguing any democracy or any system or place at all in our fallen world, but they were good at conducting the business of being persons—living their lives. His cousin, when asked what she wanted to do for a living, said, “I would like to be a therapist, but here, people just talk to their friends.”  It was true—people did just talk to their friends—in a way that was cathartic enough and unbounded enough that they genuinely didn’t need the counseling or even the healthcare—that most Western people now take for granted.

Turkey


He tried making smoothies.  He bought bulk ingredients that didn’t really go together because he didn’t know the difference.  His belly did.  He tried.
She was packing.  They were headed to Greece together, her for the first time…
The airport was abuzz.  She loved airports.  She was excited.  So was he. She would go to the Denver Airport as a little girl—for hours.  Just to watch.  Not necessarily the planes as much as the people.  And the airport itself.
He had worked as a ticketing agent and gotten free flights with Delta through Atlanta one summer—a dream job for him.  He loved flying and grew to love aviation in general and everything it stood for…
“Want a snack?”  She loved feeding him.  “I’m good,” he said.  He wasn’t.  He always said that because of the perpetual knot in his stomach…bipolar…meds…a low-grade spiritual fever…what was to blame?  A little bit of everything probably.
She gave him a snack.
It was a turkey sandwich—his favorite.  They had tried more complicated eating…her for her endometriosis and PCOS and him for his bipolar and “general health.”  More complicated eating meant “superfoods” and other such fads…different delivery methods of caffeine and exotic fruits the names of which she could hardly pronounce and which he loved for their names themselves…
This was a good turkey sandwich.  Just right.  A little Veganaise and nothing left to chance.  They had about an hour to wait.  It was Charlotte to La Guardia and from there to Athens.  She rubbed his belly.  This helped him feel better…while he ate and even when he wasn’t…
“How do two souls meet?”  These were the thoughts he had while eating his turkey sandwich.  Always.  He ate fast and his mind was seldom quiet.  This was at times a cross to bear, at others a problem to solve.  And that was okay.
To answer his question, the eternal dialectic resumed.  Sometimes it was a dialectic with himself, sometimes (he hoped) with the Divine.  “Who am I?  What am I to do?  How?  With whom?”  et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum…
Mostly, though, the questions were about ideas and not himself, or about himself and how he related to the ideas.  “Ok…I have an awareness of this idea…what do I do with it?  It is correct and true?  Needful to humanity?  Am I in the place where I can best contribute to the solution?  Do I know what or whom I need to know?”
The turkey sandwich was long since gone—not that he didn’t try to go slow on it—his version of slow—he was trying…
“We would like to invite Spirit Mastercard holders to board at this time…”
His stomach turned in a good way.  Hers too.
Excitement actually calmed his nerves—gave him the shot of dopamine he needed, he supposed…
“At this time, we would like to invite all remaining passengers to board.  Zones A through D now boarding.”
Lub.  Dub.


Amazing Greece

Her genes resounded with familiarity.  It was only a tarmac and only a bus ride, but the air was different here.  And the people…
She had met Greeks in the US,—even been in rooms full of them—but there was something different about stepping down into a country full of them—just as he said there would be.
“Greeks are more laid back…not overconcerned with rules…not full of repression…” he had said all these things before.  But it was clear now, in a country full of them, run by them, exactly what he meant.”
The bus driver, like many in big cities, was detached, but not in a cold way.  Aloof, not detached.  Not unhappy…care free.  And…everyone else seemed to be too.
There were families traveling together.  Old widows with children and grandchildren, tourists.  But the Greeks looked happier…even if they were travel-worn or jet-lagged or otherwise slightly annoyed, (like if they were cut in line as observed here or there) they were happier than the tourists…the tourists…the people who had gone out of their way to come to Greece.  Interesting…
Next stop, baggage claim, the Ano Liosia bus station.
A bus station in Greece in the summer is a unique place, especially for a middle-class American.  Let’s clear a few things up.  First of all, there’s no air conditioning.  This isn’t necessarily impossible to experience at a bus station in America, but then again, middle class folks don’t often ride the bus in America, especially not town-to-town, especially not as adults.  What else?…again, it’s loud.  Because, again, people occasionally get mad at other and, in Greece, they just don’t have the same rules about being quiet in public.  There’s no shame in it. It’s not for poor people or people with no manners, or whatever British high-society dictated to the American people.  It’s just the public square…everywhere.
So, there’s the bus station.  And where there’s a bus station, there’s snack food.  Greek snack food.
“Ena espresso fredo granita, parakalo.”  He orders with facility, she with hesitation.  “To idio gia mena,” she says, and he gives her a look, obviously attracted.  Two blended ice chocolate milks arrive a minute later.  She sipped hers.  “Mmmmm…wasn’t expecting that…”  “Why not?” he said, looking serious.
They boarded the bus.  It was a typical intercity bus.  She was a bit sleepy, though excited.  They took their seats.  Pffffffff…. The brakes disengaged and the suspension and steering were activated and put to the ultimate proof of might—a drive out of Athens.  She didn’t love winding drives.  She did love unfamiliar places.  And her boo.  And that was enough to make up the difference.  She leaned on him, nauseous.  He rubbed her shoulders and head and in the shortest hour you’ve ever seen, they were out of Athens.
Wow.
The countryside.
Something of a golden desert, rocky and punctuated by olive trees here, covered by wheat there.  Little villages with definite bounds—not sprawl—nothing like it.  Everything was different in this landscape—the colors—the way space was arranged and used—the way the Artist, or artists, painted—the Creator on the one hand and the stewards on the other.  There was something so peaceful about this land.  It was barren—just barren enough.  There were miles that looked like no one occupied it, yet it was just cared for enough—just lived on.  It was poorer land, but that was good thing.  Less for greedy men to exploit and perhaps more room to occupy one’s mind or one’s heart with something…better…
And yet it had been occupied for thousands of years.  Was that why it looked so tired, so lazy?  It wasn’t tired or lazy, it was content.
This place was so unassuming.  It was the most beautiful place she had ever seen, yet people didn’t seem to know it.  They were happy, yet they weren’t running around snapping pictures of it.  And there was some litter. But perhaps that added to the “We don’t care.  We’re not in a hurry,” charm.
How much is too much care for a place?  How is land hallowed or blessed by people before it?  Good people.  Or even just people struggling—people trying.  Had God visited this land early or more often?  Logic said no.  The heart said yes.
Fields of wheat grow up with water, fields of grace with tears, mansions in the Kingdom wrought with righteous toil through the years.  She wrote in her notebook words she was sure had written before.  That was the way the truth worked.  It wasn’t about discovering it—per se—but discovering it in one’s life and proclaiming it again so that it resounds throughout the ages.  But, as it written, “the rocks will cry out,” that seemed to be what was going on in Greece.  The rocks were crying out, not that there was a shortage of holy people.  That’s how the saying worked—that the Creator will not leave his creatures wanting, without a witness in times of spiritual decline; but the converse seemed to hold true—that holy people sanctified the rocks—that they reinforced each other.  Holy people make holy places and holy places make holy people—not on their own, for sure, since what is a holy place after all, besides a place where God dwells?  And what makes a place holy?  Or a person?  Holy (Agion in Greek) means “set apart.”  This seemed to be the secret.  This land was set apart.  Set apart from use.  Set apart from her judgement.  From pre-conceived notions.  From his own sins—since, after all, we can desecrate a place just as much as we can sanctify it, and usually more quickly.
The mystery of place.
A place determines our start in life.  And the criteria by which we are judged—both now, but of the only significance, in the hereafter.  But a place can also jump-start a person spiritually.  Even if certain places like this one, seemed to have a spiritual head-start, it was clear now that a place could feed a person spiritually and that the excitement of a new place lay first and foremost in the temporary escape from oneself—until oneself arrives and sets up camp.  And how to take advantage of this transitional period?  How to ride the novelty before it wears off?  These thoughts occupied her mind, which conventions of happiness dictated should have been quiet and at ease—not that it wasn’t—she just thought about these things.
Be present.  That’s how you’ll enjoy this place.
She arrived prepared to take pictures.  Prepared to vlog and blog, but the reality that met her was exactly the sort of thing she went looking for when watching others’ vlogs and reading others’ blogs…elsewhere.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started